Wanting to justify your actions by blaming some circumstance or person is not a consistent excuse. You will react according to your education, your neuroses, fears, and expectations. To exemplify this, I created the following parable:

Once, a Hindu Master wanted to show that emotional reactions were not due to the events that triggered them, but rather to what each one already carried within themselves. He handpicked three disciples, whose personalities he knew well. He ordered the three to come to the front of the class and kneel before him. He gave each one a strong slap. The first one was indignant and withdrew in anger, saying that the Master had no right to assault him in front of the class. The second one became sad and cried. The third one said, “Thank you, Master!”
The stimulus had been the same: a slap. But the reactions of the three were different: anger, sadness, and gratitude. What is the explanation?
It is that each one responded with what they had within themselves. Whoever had anger, reacted with anger. Whoever had sadness, reacted with sadness. Whoever had gratitude, reacted with gratitude. The important thing is never the fact itself. It is the pretext, it is the excipient[1] to externalize what each one has in their character.

When someone bumps into you and spills your coffee, the primary cause of your coffee being spilled was not the bump, because if you were drinking tea, you wouldn't have spilled the coffee. Every time life gives you a bump, you will spill into the world whatever you have inside your mug.

[1] The excipient is a pharmacologically inactive substance used as a vehicle for the active ingredient.

From the book Change the World, Start with Yourself,
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.